Which Sex and the City Character Are You When Buying a Home?

If you need inspiration to believe that you can buy on your own, look at Sex and the City. Every one of the four women ended up with her own place, without a man.

I recently went on the Sex and the Cincy podcast to talk about the different personality types of homebuyers, framed as the Sex and the City characters, of course.  Listen to the full episode in the following links and read through the profiles below to figure out what type of home buyer you will be.

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Miranda was the first to buy. Her broker asked why she wanted such a big apartment "just for you," and at closing she was asked if the down payment was coming from her father. That's the episode with the line: "Buying a place alone means you don't need a man."

And it's not just TV. According to the NAR 2025 Profile of Home Buyers and Sellers, 25% of first-time homebuyers are single women. Only 10% are single men.

I really believe in the power of homeownership for what it can do to build your life, and as a woman, for the independence it can give you. That comes from my own lived experience. I bought my first house three weeks after my divorce.

Each of these women approaches buying a home differently, and knowing which one you are makes the process easier. It tells me how to talk to you, how much information you want, and when you want it. And to be very clear, saying someone's ego is wrapped up in their home is not a dig. Most people's egos are tied to their homes. Everybody is that way.

Are you a Carrie?

Enneagram 4 · The Individualist

Enneagram fours are expressive and sensitive. They seek authenticity, and they want to be unique and understood. For Carrie, no part of that is about security. It's about expressing herself, being seen, and romanticizing everything. Remember, Miranda tallied up her shoe collection at $40,000, and when Carrie's building went co-op she had $1,657 in her bank account.

As a buyer, Carrie is idealistic and romantic. She's the one most likely to get on Zillow without setting a budget, fall in love with a property, skip calling a lender, and call me: "Can I see this one tomorrow?" She sees visions of drinking wine on the fire escape and doesn't notice the kitchen has two inches of counter space. On home tours, it's really going to be about "Does it feel right?"

She's also the one I send the contract to who signs it in two minutes, possibly without reading. There were eight documents, babe. If you don't want to get on the phone with me and go through the full contract, can you at least let it sit open on your computer long enough that I can believe you read it?

Your home is a reflection of who you are. You're buying for you, not to impress anyone, and investment is a secondary thought.

How I will help YOU:

My sweet girlies, stay off Zillow. Call me, and I'll set up a search so you only see what you can actually afford. Dream of a closet full of shoes, and I'll make sure the rest of the property checks the important boxes.

You can have both. We just have to balance it so you're not house poor. I want you to fall in love with the fire escape, and then let's make sure we're ticking the other boxes. And keep in mind, your first home is not your dream home. It's the stepping stone that gets you to your dream home, and the sooner you buy, the faster you'll get there.

More of a Miranda?

Enneagram 6 · The Loyalist

Sixes are engaging, responsible, anxious, and incredibly security-oriented. They look for support, safety, and preparedness against risk. Miranda is very anti-risk, but she's the first one to buy property, because that's what made her feel safe. You can tell there was some equity when she moved to Brooklyn, and owning her place helped her feel comfortable having a child on her own.

You're buying for security, and you're probably the first of your friends to buy. You're pragmatic. You're not walking into a place thinking it has the same cupboards as your mom's. You look at the numbers, the part of town, and where it's headed. You're probably buying somewhere a little up and coming. We're on spreadsheets.

Here's my hot tip I've been telling people for ten years: we love a listing with ugly photos. Most buyers can't see past them and will pass. If you want to find a deal, look at the ones with ugly pictures.

You want every document up front, and you might try to redline the contract. I want you to understand it, and I'll also explain which parts we can change and which parts we can't.

Out of everyone, the inspection is going to scare you the most. It's where you feel out of control.

How I will help YOU:

Babe, we have our contractors who can say, "Here's how we fix it." It's not my job to know all the answers. It's my job to know the people who know the answers. And if it's not the right house for you, I'm going to get you out of it.

Plus I'll send you a weekly email with every deadline, so you know where we are at every step.

A Charlotte?

Enneagram 2 · The Helper

Twos are demonstrative, generous, people-pleasing, and caring. They want to be appreciated for being loving and supportive. Charlotte is a homemaker, and for her, home is about security in a different way: security for her people.

She fought for the Park Avenue apartment in her divorce. It gave her the identity of owning on Park Avenue, but it also gave her the stability of staying in the same place. And financially, there was security in it. If she ever needed more money, she could have sold it.

You walk in and imagine your kids running down the hallway. Your home is how and where you take care of your people. It's a reflection of how good a homemaker you are, and you want your friends to come over, be impressed, and feel safe and loved there.

You may not come to me totally prepared, but you want guidance, and you'll actually follow it.

Ugly listing photos? "I just can't see it." You want to be able to envision your life right away.

How I will help YOU:

I'll put that one that needs some vision on your tour anyway and go full Vanna White. Your table for hosting dinner parties goes right here, the new chandelier goes there, and here's how we change this. I will narrate you through a house. I just have to get you in it first.

It's like Charlotte meeting Harry. He was someone she wouldn't have looked twice at, but the bones were there. If the bones are there and it ticks your boxes, give it a chance.

One thing I tell my sweet Charlottes and Carries: don't move in until the deal is done. Don't mentally start decorating and fleshing out your kids' bedrooms during the inspection. Because then you'll say, "No, it's fine, I love it so much, I don't care about the termites." Babe. We do.

Or more of a Samantha?

Enneagram 8 · The Challenger

Eights are self-confident, decisive, willful, and maybe a little confrontational. They seek to protect themselves and stay in control of their destiny. Samantha is self-made. She built her own PR firm, and she moved into a Meatpacking District loft before the area took off.

Your home says something to the world: I'm doing well. I'm in the cool neighborhood. I'm in the cool building. Whatever status means to you, your property reflects it. I'm a little bit of a Samantha myself, and I'll fully own that. My properties say to the world, "I'm solid. I'm doing well."

You come in prepared, and you've already made your decision.

Inspection issue? "Fine. Is it fixable? Take care of it for me."

The weekly update email? "You have it taken care of? Then I don't need this."

How I will help YOU:

I send you what you need, when you need it. Rather than dumping everything on you up front, I'll drip it to you as you need it, so there's a higher chance you'll actually read it.

I keep the issues you don't need to worry about off your plate.

So which one are you?

Me? I'm a Samantha with a little bit of Charlotte. Decisive but sentimental.

Tell me which character you are, and I will know exactly how YOU want to be guided through the home buying process. If you come to me and say, "Betsy, I'm a Charlotte," I know exactly how to talk to you. If you're into astrology or the Enneagram, tell me all your things.

Knowing a bit about what you want, and how you're likely to operate as a buyer, makes this whole process easier. Know thyself.

And it's never too early to talk to me. You don't have to be buying tomorrow. You could be buying sometime in the next 18 months. Let's grab a coffee or a drink, put you on a search, and you can text me questions. That way, when you're walking through homes, you're not getting to know a stranger you need to trust while you're evaluating a home.

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